Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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