ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
