um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
