This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
