i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
