im drinking this country out of the recession.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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