Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I don't think brook has ever known best
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Less talking, more tequila
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
