I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
