Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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