I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize