you guys were way drunker than both of me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize