i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
