The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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