Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
