Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
