he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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