Fuck appropriateness.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
