I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
