You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
