About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
