Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
