I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
