...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
