I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
