I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
