Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
