I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
