Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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