Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They took my balls.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
