Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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