Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
