Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
