What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
