so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
