That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
