____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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