Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
