Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
