Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
