just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
