My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
