Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize