I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
