I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
