White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
