Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My vagina is officially offended.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
