I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
