Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
