The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
