have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
