ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
