Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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