Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
