If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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