i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
