i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
