She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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