Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
