You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
