Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We have started to decorate penises.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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