That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
