Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
