If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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