we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
