Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
